it's time for another update, I'm not so tired tonight so here we go. Thursday David had surgery on his sinuses because he was leaking a lot of cerebral spinal fluid from his nose and had an air leak where air was getting into his brain from his nose... so on Thursday he had surgery, he started in pre-op at 9:30am. then he was taken into the OR at 11:00am. surgery started at 12 or 12:30pm. he was out of surgery at 4:00pm and into recovery then I got to see him at 5:00pm. it was a long day. he was held in the icu from thrusday to tuesday afternoon then he went back to his long term care facility. Friday and Saturday and sunday, because of the surgery his eyes were swollen shut. Monday he opened his eyes back up. he did discover what breasts were again he was getting all grabby with mine, so I had to correct him and tell him it was not proper to be doing that in public. on tuesday he had another surgery to change his PICC line which is a long term IV from his left arm to his right. so he's still pretty groggy from the surgeries.
as far as motor functions or movements, he is starting to move his right side his hand and arm have spontaneous movement but it's without stimulation which is good. his right leg he is moving I'm not sure if it's purposeful or spontaneous. he's giving thumbs up on command and showing umbers 0-5 on command.
that's about it.
.:Jenny:.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
a little peek into my mind...
a lot of people ask how I'm doing, I'm staying strong but I do have my weak points. these are my thoughts when I'm having a weak moment.
it's like we go through things and we don't know why.
we don't know why bad things happen.
we don't know why our lives get flipped upside-down.
we scoff when someone is having a bad day because their day couldn't have been as bad as the one we have been going through for weeks, months, and years.
people act like they understand but they don't.
they don't understand what you saw, heard, smelled and felt.
you constantly sit at their bedside looking for change. looking for some ounce of hope that maybe your life will be semi normal again.
you cry tears of loneliness, sadness, hurt, and anger.
people don't understand all the anger, sadness, loneliness, frustration, and guilt that you feel. you hide your feelings from the world son you aren't judged.
anger- why this is all happening. what did you do wrong? what did you do to deserve this? you don't have the right to accuse me for things that happened because it wasn't in my plan.
sadness/loneliness- being in your house alone. things remind you of them, pictures, smells, foods... you have nobody to talk to, cuddle with, laugh with. nobody to hold you and make you feel like everything is going to be alright. no one to vent to or have laying next to you and holding you when you fall asleep or wake up. no one to call you and tell you they love you. no one to text you and let you know they love you and can't wait to see you. no one to have dinner with. no one to make all the sadness, hurt and anger go away. no one to push the hair out of your face and tell you that you are the most beautiful person in the world, whether you think so or not. no one to make you smile when you are down. no one to fulfill all the promises they made. no one to hold hands with in the car or walking through the store or down the street. no one to tease you about the silly things you do...
frustration- sometimes you don't want to get dressed or put make up on, or do your hair, but you do it because its what other people want you to do, even though all you care about is getting back to the hospital to see you best friend. the one you vowed to spend the rest of your life with. people are inconsiderate they make a lot of things about themselves even though they aren't directly involved in the situation. people try to bully you to get what they want.
guilt- what you could have done to prevent it from happening. what you could have changed. how you could have done something different. not telling them how much that you loved them every second of everyday. not agreeing with them all the time. not making them happy all the time. the little things...
in a matter of seconds, your whole life could change. one brash act or human error, everything you thought you knew about life changes. you change. in a matter of days, weeks, and years you become stronger. your routine changes. you start feeling scared, lonely, angry, hurt, confused, abandoned, worried.
don't take anything you have in life for granted. especially the people. you never know in a second what could change. always tell your loved ones that you love them no matter what. kiss your husband or wife as much as you can, hold on to them, cherish them, because within the next second your life can change.
it's like we go through things and we don't know why.
we don't know why bad things happen.
we don't know why our lives get flipped upside-down.
we scoff when someone is having a bad day because their day couldn't have been as bad as the one we have been going through for weeks, months, and years.
people act like they understand but they don't.
they don't understand what you saw, heard, smelled and felt.
you constantly sit at their bedside looking for change. looking for some ounce of hope that maybe your life will be semi normal again.
you cry tears of loneliness, sadness, hurt, and anger.
people don't understand all the anger, sadness, loneliness, frustration, and guilt that you feel. you hide your feelings from the world son you aren't judged.
anger- why this is all happening. what did you do wrong? what did you do to deserve this? you don't have the right to accuse me for things that happened because it wasn't in my plan.
sadness/loneliness- being in your house alone. things remind you of them, pictures, smells, foods... you have nobody to talk to, cuddle with, laugh with. nobody to hold you and make you feel like everything is going to be alright. no one to vent to or have laying next to you and holding you when you fall asleep or wake up. no one to call you and tell you they love you. no one to text you and let you know they love you and can't wait to see you. no one to have dinner with. no one to make all the sadness, hurt and anger go away. no one to push the hair out of your face and tell you that you are the most beautiful person in the world, whether you think so or not. no one to make you smile when you are down. no one to fulfill all the promises they made. no one to hold hands with in the car or walking through the store or down the street. no one to tease you about the silly things you do...
frustration- sometimes you don't want to get dressed or put make up on, or do your hair, but you do it because its what other people want you to do, even though all you care about is getting back to the hospital to see you best friend. the one you vowed to spend the rest of your life with. people are inconsiderate they make a lot of things about themselves even though they aren't directly involved in the situation. people try to bully you to get what they want.
guilt- what you could have done to prevent it from happening. what you could have changed. how you could have done something different. not telling them how much that you loved them every second of everyday. not agreeing with them all the time. not making them happy all the time. the little things...
in a matter of seconds, your whole life could change. one brash act or human error, everything you thought you knew about life changes. you change. in a matter of days, weeks, and years you become stronger. your routine changes. you start feeling scared, lonely, angry, hurt, confused, abandoned, worried.
don't take anything you have in life for granted. especially the people. you never know in a second what could change. always tell your loved ones that you love them no matter what. kiss your husband or wife as much as you can, hold on to them, cherish them, because within the next second your life can change.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
love is patient
"4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails."
-1 Cor. 4-8a.
its been awhile since i wrote a blog. so lets see here...
the last time i wrote something we were at st. als in boise. david is now at southwest idaho advanced care hospital in boise. he's progressing really well, he's able to move his left hand really well, move his left leg all around, today he was trying really hard to move his right hand and did it but he tried way to hard. it pushed his heart rate up high and tuckered him out. he's definitely trying! he also got his trach out so he can talk whenever he wants to. he's trying to do that as well. the first time i heard noise come from him it freaked me out because he hadn't made a sound in 3 weeks. lol. he also is making moaning noises and he tries to talk, i will ask him some questions and he will open his mouth and try to answer. :) david today also in physical therapy tried pulling himself up and was almost sitting by himself. :) yesterday he moved his head, neck and all by himself, and he's almost looking to the right. :) he's made some massive improvements. the swelling in his head has gone down to where its starting to cave in. (its supposed to do that.) he also is moving the right side of his face, which now he can make a full smile! :)
david used to have a restraint on his left arm to keep him from pulling at things, they removed it yesterday, but i had to put it back on him today because he started itching at his head and pulling scabs off. :( sorry buddy! just trying to protect you. also because his head is caving in you can tell were part of the skull is gone so he feels that a lot and i don't want it to hurt him because i don't know how much pressure he's putting on his brain when he touches his left side of his head. so we are just trying to protect him. david has this awesome night nurse named melissa. she's great, i love knowing she's there to take care of david. she's one of the few nurses i like. he also had a good day nurse, brianne. she was really good with him as well. :)
one last thing, i meet david's new commander, (we are no longer in the boise company for recruiting.) he's now in the wounded warrior unit, so we get to meet his new commander and a major from cali. hopefully they can answer a lot of questions for me.
all in all david improves more and more each day! its a definite miracle. :) now its just a waiting period for him to get better, a definite test to test patience in love.
-1 Cor. 4-8a.
its been awhile since i wrote a blog. so lets see here...
the last time i wrote something we were at st. als in boise. david is now at southwest idaho advanced care hospital in boise. he's progressing really well, he's able to move his left hand really well, move his left leg all around, today he was trying really hard to move his right hand and did it but he tried way to hard. it pushed his heart rate up high and tuckered him out. he's definitely trying! he also got his trach out so he can talk whenever he wants to. he's trying to do that as well. the first time i heard noise come from him it freaked me out because he hadn't made a sound in 3 weeks. lol. he also is making moaning noises and he tries to talk, i will ask him some questions and he will open his mouth and try to answer. :) david today also in physical therapy tried pulling himself up and was almost sitting by himself. :) yesterday he moved his head, neck and all by himself, and he's almost looking to the right. :) he's made some massive improvements. the swelling in his head has gone down to where its starting to cave in. (its supposed to do that.) he also is moving the right side of his face, which now he can make a full smile! :)
david used to have a restraint on his left arm to keep him from pulling at things, they removed it yesterday, but i had to put it back on him today because he started itching at his head and pulling scabs off. :( sorry buddy! just trying to protect you. also because his head is caving in you can tell were part of the skull is gone so he feels that a lot and i don't want it to hurt him because i don't know how much pressure he's putting on his brain when he touches his left side of his head. so we are just trying to protect him. david has this awesome night nurse named melissa. she's great, i love knowing she's there to take care of david. she's one of the few nurses i like. he also had a good day nurse, brianne. she was really good with him as well. :)
one last thing, i meet david's new commander, (we are no longer in the boise company for recruiting.) he's now in the wounded warrior unit, so we get to meet his new commander and a major from cali. hopefully they can answer a lot of questions for me.
all in all david improves more and more each day! its a definite miracle. :) now its just a waiting period for him to get better, a definite test to test patience in love.
Monday, August 1, 2011
love like crazy :)
"be a best friend, tell the truth , and overuse I love you. go to work do your best don't out smart your common sense, never let your prayin knees get lazy and love like crazy."
well tonight is the first night that I get to spend with David. although the accommodations aren't that cozy but I like being close to him. :) I like being alone with him and having the privacy we need away from family and friends. don't get me wrong I love them, but ultimately we are husband and wife and do need our time as well. I need to be able to tell him how much I love him and remind him how happy he makes me and that everything is going to be okay. :) I know how deep our love goes when I can get him to do things others can't. or when he holds my hand so tightly that the blood runs out and my hand gets tingly. :) I know he's trying really hard to get better. :)
today the physical therapist came in and sat him on the side of the bed with legs dangling and everything. :) he was trying so hard to hold himself up! :) he also is moving his left hand a lot and he is staring to wiggle his fingers on his right hand, its not all the time but he's trying. pretty much he's been sleeping all day. his fever recently is down to 99.8 last time I checked. :) hopefully today (monday) or tomorrow he'll be moved to his long term care hospital...
this whole experience has been a huge test/trial on our marriage. I know we still have a long way to go, but in the end it will be worth it. "never let your praying knees get lazy,and love like crazy." :)
well tonight is the first night that I get to spend with David. although the accommodations aren't that cozy but I like being close to him. :) I like being alone with him and having the privacy we need away from family and friends. don't get me wrong I love them, but ultimately we are husband and wife and do need our time as well. I need to be able to tell him how much I love him and remind him how happy he makes me and that everything is going to be okay. :) I know how deep our love goes when I can get him to do things others can't. or when he holds my hand so tightly that the blood runs out and my hand gets tingly. :) I know he's trying really hard to get better. :)
today the physical therapist came in and sat him on the side of the bed with legs dangling and everything. :) he was trying so hard to hold himself up! :) he also is moving his left hand a lot and he is staring to wiggle his fingers on his right hand, its not all the time but he's trying. pretty much he's been sleeping all day. his fever recently is down to 99.8 last time I checked. :) hopefully today (monday) or tomorrow he'll be moved to his long term care hospital...
this whole experience has been a huge test/trial on our marriage. I know we still have a long way to go, but in the end it will be worth it. "never let your praying knees get lazy,and love like crazy." :)
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